I have a 15 year old daughter who entered my alma mater this year for grade nine. I wondered about the transition from a community based middle school where her grades held steady at A+ and where she was surrounded by passionate educators who taught by inspiration, motivation and true passion for TEACHING.
Knowing she would be in one of the city’s biggest most sought after high schools, I knew she would face challenges. Big means busy and busy means crowded and crowded means, you can get lost and not every one you meet will like you, and in my daughter’s case, will want to teach you. It’s doubtful that big high schools are sought after because of the teachers alone; they can’t be good across the board either. Challenge is indisputably necessary, but it isn’t always comfortable.
Sought after high schools draw large populations because of many factors: programs, demographics; size and location; leadership, and appealing common visions. Common visions are the flavor, but not every one in a big population will hold the same candle; there’s always the diffuse member. The one who joins the club but doesn’t abide by the rules. Rule breaking teachers (and students) can be leaders and pioneers which is ideal. In my daughter’s case, she has found a few who are negative, disrespectful and darn right unworthy of their professions.
Her distress call today from school was about a French teacher who said, “if any one wants an extra 5% you better be nice to me. If I don’t like you, I won’t give you the extra marks, and if you don’t like me, you can leave my class”. She’s the one who called 4 parents to complain about a friend their daughters had in common and try to convince the parents to turn their daughters against her. There was also a rant about the math teacher who gave her a failing grade after handing her a math test on the stuff she’d missed while away before March break, the one who told us she didn’t need to study anything while she vactioned.
These kinds of things can happen in toxic work places, in unenlightened social circuits, in crooked politics, on soap operas….but in an esteemed educational institution?? This brings the phrase, “This is so high school!” to a whole other level.
The tragic flaw that teachers and bosses and any one in authority can often reveal is abuse of perceived power. When you are in charge it’s easy to fall into; it can even be unconscious which is truly sad and that’s a whole other discussion.
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The lesson I tried to teach my daughter is one I have tried to teach myself and others I have had the pleasure of mentoring and counseling, just because some one is in a position of authority doesn’t mean they deserve to have power over you. No one deserves to have power over you.
The other lesson I have learned and now share is that if some one in authority or a peer is going to influence you, it better be in the name of progress, ideally it should have a positive outcome. If you are confronted by a de-motivational or un-inspirational force, step away and step back. If it’s your boss or teacher, you have choices; you can do something about it and you can choose not to be influenced in a negative way.
Feeling powerless is the worse state of mind you can inflict upon your self, if it creeps up, take a very hard look at it, stop it in its heels and look at the source. Self respect and feeling your power are the things that propel us to greatness. Choosing to feel your power is the first step to finding it.
Ok, this is definitely a blog fueled by a bit of a rant, isn’t that how they all got started?
Bottom line, if you are afraid to stand up for your self and go against the grain, remember this; it’s better to fail in the face of your own power than some one else’s. Many great accomplishments fall on the heals of failure, we can’t be afraid of it, it’s just better if it comes on your own terms not some one elses. Good to note, some times your first attempt at something you fear is your best attempt of all.
