Well, I had my second in a series of 5 counselling classes.
Our group is lead by Bruce Small, whose style is best revealed in his site www.socialfarts.com
It’s pretty interesting to take the concepts you learn in one-on-one peer counselling and start applying them when hearing peoples work stories.
The outlook Bruce shares is straight forward…………..
“we have scripts that we follow in cycles from the time we are toddlers, we act these out repetitively through out our life, and in these scripts we have characters and scenarious that we replay over and over again” AND “in order to remain in control of our lives, we attract and engage people at various stages of our lives to re-enact the same story over and over”……I am sure this happens in many people’s work lives.
We are often-heroes, victims, rescuers,bullies,teachers,healers, stars,warriors etc etc etc
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Here’s the deal, the scripts don’t help us, they perpetuate and we fail to engage our selves and others intimately. We fail to connect on the levels required to communicate meaningfully because we just move the script along…..we forget to be present and actively listen to what is truly going on around us and within our selves.
It dosent have to be heavy, it can be as simple as …some one saying, ” my boss is a bully” ….in scripts, you react by trying to save the person, protect them or offer advise on how to handle the abuse, aka you become “the rescuer”. Or, you relate and prattle on about our own stuff, your own experiences re “bullying”. ou take sides, ou indulge etc etc. The idea in counselling, is to listen and reflect back to the person, absorb what they are saying and ask questions that will reveal more about the bosses behaviour and how this person is being relative to the abuse… to try and guide the person to see who they are in abuse, to discover when else they have been abused and the help uncover the script . No opinions necessary, just a bit of steering the chat so there is a discovery process.
This has been a real eye opener and it is amazing how helpful it is to have the awareness in every conversation you have……with so many lay offs and so many people facing relationship challenges at work…..it helps to improve your listening skills and be able to “hear” what others are saying.
Good nite all…..practice makes perefct
CJ
